I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
