i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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