So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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