Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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