Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
