Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
