I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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