a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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