Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
