thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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