Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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