im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
