I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I smell stomach acid.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
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