i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
