Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Drunk is not a location!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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