I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
