i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
