So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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