I wanna passion pit in your ass
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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