Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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