I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
