So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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