I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
