hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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