I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
