I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize