he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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