You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
