Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
