How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
