I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
