i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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