I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
