Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
