i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
