My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
