Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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