thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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