Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
