What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
