Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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