I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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