I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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