Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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