Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
