i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
But theres a keg here and me gusta
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
