Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
