Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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