I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
