Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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