you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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