Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
