He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I want her autograph on my taint
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
