Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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