Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
