So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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