well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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