Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
