whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
