Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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