people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
