well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
