Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
