Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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